Getting Back On The Horse

Guest Post:  Teresa Romain

This past week marked the official “end” to the holidays.  Many of my clients commented that last week (and getting back to work and/or business) “hit them like a ton of bricks”.   Some felt overwhelmed.  Some felt paralyzed.  Others simply had a hard time getting “back in gear”.

To support them, I’ve been sharing one particular analogy on many of my coaching calls this week that I think might support you as well.

And the analogy I’m using is horseback riding. Have you (or do you know anyone who has) ever fallen off a horse? 

‘Tis the Season of All or Nothing Something!

Guest Post: Teresa Romain

Throughout the years I have worked with direct sellers and network marketers, I have noticed that this particular time of year leads to an intensification of one of the most debilitating scarcity patterns.

The pattern I’m referring to is the “All or Nothing” pattern.  It shows up this time of year in one of two predominant ways.

For some direct sellers, the time leading up to the holidays is one of the busiest times of their year – with holiday parties, gift-shopping, open houses, etc.   In fact, right up until the last day products can be shipped and still arrive before Christmas, many direct sellers find themselves pushing, pushing, pushing… with their business getting all (or nearly all) of their time, attention and energy.   The rest of their lives are, to a greater or lesser degree, put “on hold”.

Of course, as soon as this “holiday surge” in their business is over, they immediately jump into the holiday plans and preparation they had been putting off – setting up more of that pushing, pushing, pushing energy.  And then, after ALL that – when their business surge is over and the holidays are past… well, then comes the collapse.  The recovery.  The NOTHING.  And that NOTHING often continues well into the month of January – until they find themselves, mid-January, without the production or bookings or sales they need.   And then the pattern begins again – as they push to get a month’s worth of production or sales in two weeks’ time.

Just checking – have I, by chance, described you and/or one of your direct selling friends or associates?

If not, perhaps the “All or Nothing” pattern shows up in your life a little differently right now.

You see, for others – the exact opposite occurs. Either December isn’t a particularly great time for their business (based on the products they sell) and/or they SO enjoy the holiday season that they immerse themselves in ALL of the holiday festivities and do little to NOTHING in their business.   They’re waiting for the New Year – and their “fresh start” – and the time when people will be more interested in their products or business opportunity courtesy of New Year resolutions or the simple fact that the holidays are over.  And they usually have ALL these ideas of ALL that they will do and ALL the shows or sales they will have come January.   But until January comes, again, they do little or NOTHING.

Did I describe you this time?

I’m not saying that every direct seller or network marketer falls into this pattern at this time of year – but it does happen more than you may realize.  And some people don’t even realize the scarcity it sets up – the rollercoaster of highs and lows, ups and downs, feast and famine, start and stop action (and results) it creates in your business.

Not to mention the impact it has on your life in general – and on your sense of balance, wholeness and well-being.

The All or Nothing pattern does not support consistency nor is it sustainable.  It does not support lasting success and growth over time.  And it wreaks havoc on your life – as you catapult from doing ALL or ALOT in your business and NOTHING in other areas (family, home, friends, hobbies, relaxation) to ALL that you suddenly need to do to “catch up” or “make up” in those areas and NOTHING in your business.

So – what’s the way out – during this season and throughout the year?

Do SOMETHING.  Set limits.  Have boundaries. Define what “enough” is for you.

In you’re one of the ones who does ALL business this month and NOTHING (or darn little) in the non-biz areas of your life, then plan your “SOMETHINGS” with friends, family, relaxation, exercise, hobbies, or just plain ‘ol relaxing TODAY.  Reserve the time for them on your calendar and work your biz around those few “somethings” that will keep you more sane and whole and balanced.

But it’s not about doing these “somethings” on TOP of ALL that you are doing in your business – it’s not about packing even more in.  It’s about using your need for these “somethings” (your well-being and sanity depend on them) to help you set limits in your business – to define what is “enough” (for NOW) and maintain important boundaries.

If, on the other hand, you have the tendency to do NOTHING in your business in December because you get caught up in ALL holiday activities or figure your customers are (which is why you don’t want to call them or “bother them”) – then your way out of this pattern is to do SOME THINGS in your business.  Make some phone calls. Hold some shows or classes.  This month, book shows or classes for that first week of January.

Rather than put business “on hold” until January – keep YOURSELF in momentum (and your biz) by doing SOMETHING. Trust me, that will make it much easier for you to have the great start to the New Year that you want – because you’ll already be in motion.

I have often told my direct selling clients that your business is only PART of your life and is designed to support you to live the life you want.  It is not intended to become your life or take over your life or keep your from living your life.   That’s especially true during the months of December and January.

So – rather than a season of All or Nothing – let’s make this a season of SOMETHING.  Because the ease, balance, wholeness, fulfillment, freedom, consistency and momentum that will result is – truly – something worth CELEBRATING!

Teresa Romain is the President & Founder of www.AccessAbundance.com and has trained and coached thousands of individuals around the world access and experience greater freedom, fulfillment, well-being and abundance in their businesses and their lives. Unique in her approach and dynamic and passionate in her style, Teresa is known for making the transformational process of accessing abundance challenging, fun and powerful in its results.

A “Catastrophe” Turned Abundant

by Teresa Romain

[Editor's note: This week, our resident prosperity coach returns with an insightful look at how we often miss the opportunities right in front of us because we're too busy focusing on something that's gone wrong. It's a re-print from one of Teresa's recent newsletters, but it was SO good, I had to share it here.]

You probably don’t know that, among other things, my husband Dan is a watch- and clock-maker. He doesn’t really MAKE the watches and clocks. Rather, he repairs and restores them – particularly old, mechanical ones. He gets customers from all sorts of places – and it’s not uncommon for people to mail their watches in for repair from different parts of the country.

I tell you this because the “catastrophe” this letter is about occurred as he was repairing one such pocket watch. When Dan repairs (or overhauls) an old watch – he completely takes it apart and checks all of the tiny pieces that make up the “watch movement”. Tiny jewels, hairsprings, mainsprings, screws, balance wheels – he takes it all apart, cleans them all, fixes what needs fixing and puts it all back together again.

And sometimes in the process of doing that – accidents happen. Like a little tiny spring will go flying or he’ll drop a jewel or small screw. I always know when it happens – because I’ll usually hear a “sound effect” coming from his watch office. If I’m in the nearby kitchen, it’s usually followed with a desperate “Honey – I need your help!” And, if I’m available, I go into search through Dan’s hair, to look on his clothes and under his feet before he moves. If I don’t find it on him, then one or both of us begin the process of combing the floor and his bench for the TINY missing part.

Usually one of us finds it. Sometimes we don’t. Usually, that’s not a big problem – Dan can order a replacement part.

Other times – like when he’s working on a rare pocketwatch – losing a part can be catastrophic. Because replacement parts don’t exist at all or, if they do, they are incredibly difficult to find and, as a result, can be quite expensive.

Having said all that – can you guess what kind of watch he was working on this week when I heard a loud “sound effect” come from his office, followed by an unusually desperate “Honey, can you come here?”

You got it. It was a rare pocket watch and a REALLY important part went flying as he was trying to put it all back together. I looked all over Dan – and didn’t find it. Then we moved our search to the floor – first combing it visually and then using a magnet to cover every inch. No luck. The part had disappeared.

Dan was beside himself. Upset. Sad. Mad at himself. Scared. Really scared. He kept saying, “I HAVE to find that part. I can’t fix the watch without that part. I NEED that part. I’m never going to be able to find a replacement for that part. What am I going to do?”

So he kept looking for it. And the longer he kept looking, the more upset and scared he became. Until, finally, he had to accept that he had lost it and he probably wasn’t going to find it.

Which meant he had to find a replacement for it amidst a bunch of old watches that he has kept on hand to “harvest” their parts. Knowing how rare this particular watch was, he knew he wouldn’t have an EXACT replacement – so he he decided to try a bunch of parts from different watches and see if he could find a substitute that worked. Often, that’s a long process – with no guarantee of success.

This time, howerver, one of the first “substitute parts” he found looked like it might work. He put it in the watch to see what would happen. This time, I head a completely different “sound effect” come from his watch office. I heard….

“Wow! I don’t believe it. It just might work. Wow! It IS working. This is amazing. This part is actually working better than the original. I can’t believe it. This is GREAT!”

And instantly I knew I was going to write about this “catastrophe” in my weekly newsletter.

Because I saw myself in Dan. And I suddenly wondered how often in my life have I worked really hard to find what I THINK I need to make my life work – only to (eventually) discover that I don’t really need it and there might be something that will work better?

How often have I “lost” or “broken” something and spent a ton of energy and time trying to fix it because I thought I needed it back for my life (or business) to work? Again – only to one day realize that there’s actually something even better available to replace the thing I lost or broke?

How often, in these situations, have I acted in panic – trying to get things back the way they were – when what I needed to do was ACCEPT what had happened and open myself to new possibilities and try new things?

How often have I doggedly and determinedly tried to MAKE things happen the way I think they need to happen – because I was afraid to let go and trust that there is a better way or that something better will come along?

These are the questions I’ve been asking myself since Dan’s “catastrophe”. And the answer to all of these questions hias ranged from “Often to all the time”. And the result has, in many ways, been catastrophic in my life.

Because those behaviors – making things happen the way I think they need to happen, trying to hold onto or find what has been lost, trying to fix things so everything is like it once was – well, they actually block my ability to ACCESS and experience Abundance in my life. I can’t TRUST the Flow of Abundance in my life and, at the same time, try to CONTROL it.

That doesn’t mean I don’t do what I can do. It doesn’t mean that Dan doesn’t try to find a part he drops. It’s more about doing what I can do and he can do about the “broken” and “lost” things without the desperation, the attachment and the fear. And it’s about knowing when to let go, try something else and trust in something greater than yourself and what you can see and do by yourself. To trust Abundance.

There IS a pretty funny (and abundant) postscript to this story. Several hours AFTER Dan found this GREAT “substitute” part, he actually found the original one he lost. So now he had two options for fixing this rare watch! Talk about abundance!

Well, there you have it- the catastrophe turned abundant and the realizations it created for me. Now it’s your turn.

Did you recognize yourself in Dan’s story? Did any of the questions it prompted for me offer realizations, insights or AHAs for you? Is there something in your life now that is “broken” or “lost” that you are frantically, desperately or doggedly trying to fix and get back to the way it WAS? Is it time for you to let it go and open yourself to something else – to new actions and possibilities?

Is there any area in your life where you are trying to CONTROL the process and outcome instead of TRUST the process and the Flow of Abundance in your life?

As always, I’d love to hear what (if anything) you got from my story today.
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Teresa Romain is the President & Founder of www.AccessAbundance.com and has trained and coached thousands of individuals around the world access and experience greater freedom, fulfillment, well-being and abundance in their businesses and their lives. Unique in her approach and dynamic and passionate in her style, Teresa is known for making the transformational process of accessing abundance challenging, fun and powerful in its results.

Direct Sales Leadership: Dovetailing Tips For Success

In the direct sales industry, the act of “dovetailing” a show is commonplace and problematic. Leaders, with an abundance of shows, often “dovetail” a show to one of their team members to help them launch (or re-launch) their business.

The trouble comes when expectations aren’t set (or met), and what should be a seamless transfer of clients becomes an attitude war. Here are just a few problems I’ve come across in my coaching career (and in my own direct sales experience):

• Leaders pass off clients they don’t want to an inexperienced consultant that can’t “handle” them.
• Consultants develop an entitlement mentality, expecting their leaders to just “give” them shows when they need it.
• Clear expectations aren’t set when the show is dovetailed, and the consultant resents sharing the income from the show with their leader.
• Clients get confused about which consultant is “their” consultant.
• Consultants don’t follow-up, and lose the new clients, forcing the Leader to step in, which creates friction in the organization.

Let’s have a look at where the word “dovetail” comes from:

My grandpa was a carpenter, and explained to me long ago that dovetail joints are the strongest way to join two pieces of wood together. They’re also a bit complicated and time consuming to create, but worth the effort if done well.

If you examine the picture, you’ll see two boards coming together. Where the notch (called a mortise) receives the tab (called a tenon), you create a dovetail joint. When properly constructed, it is incredibly strong, resists coming apart, and is often used in high-quality construction of cabinet drawers.

Simply put, a dovetail is designed to last for ages. I have cabinets that have lost their bottoms, their knobs, and even other parts, but those dovetail joints are solid. Even without glue, a well-crafted dovetail will have a tight-fitting hold.

So it should also be in your direct sales business.

The leader is the tenon, extending their clients to a consultant, acting as the mortise (the notch that receives the dovetail).

There needs to be a tight fit. Leaders can’t just “pass off” their shows to a consultant and expect them to be successful. This is a gift that you extend as a courtesy for their demonstrated efforts at building their own business. Dovetailing is NOT a handout. Leaders need to set clear expectations with their consultants before, during and after the dovetailing of a show. These are my top suggestions for helping your consultants make the most of the “gift” you’ve given them:

1. Pre-screen your consultants. Let them know that they have demonstrated a level of responsibility in building their business, and you’d like to reward them from your abundance by sharing a show or two with them. Make it clear that this is your investment in them, and you want it to be a “good fit” for your clients as well as the consultant. You’re not just “giving them a show”, you’re making an investment, and you expect a positive return on thst investment.
2. Set clear expectations. Make it plain to your consultant how you will be compensated for dovetailing the show. In exchange for giving them your clients, at the minimum, you need to set an expectation that there will be some form of compensation. It doesn’t need to be money, but half of the profits from the show is typical. I often encourage my consultants to have better shows by telling them they’ll earn 90% (instead of 50%) if they hold a $1000+ show.
3. Work with your consultant. Unless this is an established consultant, and you are sharing a show because of a scheduling conflict, it is incumbent upon you, as the leader, to make sure your consultant knows how to appreciate and fully utilize the gift they’ve been given. If they are weak at getting bookings in the first place, “giving them shows” will create a dependency, and possibly an entitlement mentality. Offer the dovetail in exchange for some one-on-one practice with their booking talk, or whatever area of their business needs improvement. I have heard a number of horror stories from leaders that dovetailed a party with 20 guests and the consultant doing the show got zero bookings.
4. Prep your hosts. Let your hosts know about the dovetail. Make it clear that they always have a choice in who they want to work with. Also inform them that the consultant will be “theirs” unless and until the customer decides otherwise. Explain the nature of dovetailing, and give your clients the option to choose. There’s nothing worse for a new consultant than to do a show and watch all the bookings go back to her leader.

What about you? What other tips have you shared when dovetailing shows? Leave a comment below and share your ideas with the community.

4 Pillars of Direct Sales Success

In all my years as a consultant, coach and trainer, the one thing I’ve NEVER heard anyone say is this:

“When I was a kid, I always dreamed of becoming a direct sales consultant.”

I’m still waiting for that day.

The reality is that nearly every single direct sales professional comes into this industry because it is a means to achieve something else.

• Paying for a child’s college education
• Getting out of debt
• Having some extra spending money, or to just make ends meet
• Earning a few vacations (all expenses paid, of course)

And yet few direct sellers understand that when they sign on the dotted line, they are actually going into business for themselves. You have just started your very own business! Now you have a whole new set of challenges: