It’s all a question of desire… or is it?

Guest Post:  Teresa Romain

After working with direct sellers and network marketers for more than 15 years now, it’s pretty clear to me that each one of them WANTS to access and experience greater levels of abundance in his or her life – including financial abundance.   For many (maybe you?), this desire for abundance was the impetus for starting their business.

Unfortunately, despite this universal desire for abundance, many (if not most) direct sellers are NOT experiencing it!

So the question I have to ask myself is… WHY?

While there are many possible causes, one of the most common that I have observed (and personally experienced) is simply this.   The reason many direct sellers do not experience the abundance they say they want is because they are not willing to go through the “don’t wants” necessary to access and experience it.

Here’s what I mean.

Let’s say that you want to have $3000 (or more) monthly income from your business.     The challenge comes from the fact that, in order to access the abundance you say you want, you must be willing to do things you don’t want to do and at times when you don’t want to do them. 

Consider this analogy.  I used to play basketball – in grade school, high school and even in college.

If, like me, you or anyone you know has ever played competitive basketball, there’s a 99% chance that you (or they) are familiar with a conditioning routine known as “crunchies” or “killers” or “suicides”.  (The latter is the name used in the 2005 movie, Coach Carter.)

The running of “crunchies” is so common in the sport of basketball that I’m confident that even Michael Jordan has experienced this grueling conditioning routine – many times over.

Now, that being the case, I have yet to meet a single basketball player who has said that he or she wants to run crunchies.   I know of no one who looks forward to running crunchies or has “felt like” running crunchies.   And yet they all have – even superstar players like Michael Jordan.

So – if they don’t want to run them – why do they run them anyway?

Quite simply, it’s because their desire is stronger than their “don’t want tos” and “don’t feel like its”.    Continuing with our basketball example, a basketball player might want to be a starter on the team or to win the championship.   The strength of that desire makes him willing to do things that he doesn’t like to or want to do, e.g., crunchies, because he realizes that doing so will support him to achieve what he wants.

Every successful basketball player has run hundreds if not thousands of “crunchies” – despite not wanting to, not feeling like it and/or not enjoying them.

And I’m sure the same can be said for all of the athletes that so many of us spent hours watching at the London Olympic games.

Here’s my point…

The same can be said of any successful direct seller or entrepreneur.   What has made it possible for them to experience the success they wanted was their willingness to do all the things that supported them – even if and when they didn’t want to.  Even when and if they were afraid to.

So – what are some of the “don’t wants” that you must be willing to do in order to have the abundance, freedom and ease you say that you want?

While the answer is different for everyone, some of the most common “don’t wants” might include:

  • Talking to people about your business
  • Making phone calls
  • Keeping accurate and up-to-date financial records for your business
  • Selling
  • Being told “no”
  • Telling someone else “no”
  • Being consistent
  • Investing in your own personal development
  • Being coached
  • Setting and keeping business hours
  • Setting and sticking to a budget for your business
  • Learning new skills
  • Practicing those skills
  • Developing new ways of thinking and operating
  • Making mistakes
  • Following a system
  • Being open
  • Working evenings and/or weekends
  • Admitting you don’t know how to do something
  • Asking for help and support
  • Being accountable
  • Taking action
  • Replying to emails promptly
  • Taking a chance
  • Trying something new
  • Learning and growing

The list could go on and on.

But, bottom line, in order to access and experience the abundance you say that you want, you must be willing to be uncomfortable.   Most direct sellers (and human beings) don’t want to experience discomfort.   We don’t want to experience fear or rejection or humiliation or embarrassment or pain.   Our attachment to comfort  prevents us from experiencing the abundance that is available for us on the other side of our “uncomfortable zone”.

Imagine, if you will, an astronaut who wants to experience the weightlessness of being in space but is unwilling to go through earth’s gravitational field because it’s uncomfortable, stressful, dangerous and even painful.    In this situation, his or her “don’t wants” are preventing him from having the experience of weightlessness, ease and freedom he wants.

In my experience, most direct sellers have linked the idea of accessing abundance with the idea of experiencing greater ease and freedom in their life.   What they don’t understand is that, as with the astronaut, ease is only possible on the other side of discomfort.  In truth, the process of accessing abundance is not always fun or easy – especially at first.

In many ways, it all comes back to a foundational principle of success and abundance, i.e., what you focus on the most is what will continue to show up and expand in your life.

When you focus on your “don’t wants”,  they keep showing up and expanding in your life.   You give them energy and your resistance to them becomes stronger.

The process of accessing abundance requires that you focus on what you DO WANT and intend to have – and to use the energy of your desire to develop the discipline, consistency and courage needed to go through the “gravity” of your “don’t wants” and take those actions that will, ultimately,  support you.

What will you choose today?

Teresa Romain

Teresa Romain

Teresa Romain is the President & Founder of and has trained and coached thousands of individuals around the world access and experience greater freedom, fulfillment, well-being and abundance in their businesses and their lives. Unique in her approach and dynamic and passionate in her style, Teresa is known for making the transformational process of accessing abundance challenging, fun and powerful in its results.


[box type=”info”] If you’re reading this on the blog, or your Kindle, you’re only getting half the story!  “Party On!” is designed for direct sales professionals serious about building a real business, not an expensive hobby. Each week we share additional resources and stories beyond what you see here on the blog, including complimentary training courses, downloadables, and more. Learn more and register for your copy of “PartyOn!” today. [/box]