Entrepreneurs — especially direct sellers — dream of success.

We want it. Sometimes we chase it. Some of us write down a number — or certain other goals — and begin bowing at the altar of “if only.”

“If only I could have x, then I’d be successful.”

“If only y would happen, then I’d see some success.”

Far too few of us take the time to define success for ourselves; to step in to full ownership of success and what it can really mean.

The most highly successful people I know look like founding members of the “Have It All” Club: loving family, profitable work, a calendar as full as they want it to be and plenty of people who want a piece of their action.

We look at their success from the outside and believe everything works perfectly. Effortlessly. It looks as if these superstars surely have a “special something” that makes it possible for them (and not the rest of us) to have real success.

It’s too bad we let ourselves off the hook like that. When I talk with members of “the club,” two things are absolutely clear: first, they work incredibly hard to achieve that balance in their lives and, second, they are no more special than anyone else, except perhaps in these important ways:

• They’ve given up on the traditional definition of work-life balance.
• They’ve defined — and experience — success on their own terms.

How do YOU define success?

Let’s — for at least a moment — give up the definition of work-life balance that resembles the scales of justice.  Let’s substitute a more useful image: perhaps a wire walker, an acrobat or an accomplished juggler. They perform with such ease that we forget the significant investment of time, energy and training it takes to develop that level of skill. Again, an outsider’s perspective.

As an entrepreneur, you know what takes place ‘behind the scenes’ in your own business. It can be messy — downright ugly — at times. But, just like the wire walker arriving at platform on other side to thunderous applause, that investment of resources often brings a flood of blessings and increased awareness of our good fortune.

In other words: we experience the results of our efforts.

True balance is more holistic than juggling or even wire walking: it’s rarely ‘one wrong move’ that brings everything crashing down around us. In the real world, balance is based on the myriad choices we make every day, from one moment to the next. Ultimately it is those choices, compounded over time, that determine our success in business or in life.

That’s the story of Tina, as told in my book, The Secret Watch. As the story unfolds, Tina’s eyes are opened to the inborn gifts she already has . . . her ‘undeniable gifts.’ She becomes empowered to re-define success on terms that make her life and her work far more rewarding for everyone involved.

But what about you? Are you going through the motions, plotting a course toward an incentive trip that your up line leader told you that you need to be on, if you want to be seen as successful? Or are you spending the last few weeks of this year deciding for yourself what you want 2013 to look like? Will you know success when you see it? How will you know it?

You can read lots of books, hold lots of shows, and make lots of money, but is that YOUR definition of success? What actions do YOU need to take to ensure that next year ends in a way that leaves you feeling like a success?

Your Challenge:

Spend some time over the next few days thinking about how you define success. Ask yourself if that definition is really yours, or one that someone else gave you. Share your thoughts on the blog, if you wish. I’m here to support and encourage you to see success on your terms.

But whether or not you share your thoughts publicly, get some clarity about what would really leave you feeling like you were successful in the coming year. Don’t make it about other people, make it about your goals and desires. The worst thing you can do is compare your progress or “success” to someone else. That’s not real success, that’s vanity.

Where do you want to be? How can I help you get there?